What Your Fried Chicken Habit Says About Your Taste in Porn

I can’t believe you clicked this article just because it has the word porn in its title. What if I had strategically placed the word there to get you to start reading and then started talking about global warming or inflation?

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Anyways, getting down to business: new research has shown that men who like the same categories of porn also like the same parts of a chicken. Basically if you say you like the drumstick of a chicken, I can predict what type of porn you like.

If all this talk about porn is making you ‘uncomfortable’ down there and you want to close this tab and search for more stimulating content, hear me out first, ok? There is actually a point to this article. At the end of this (mind you, you have to read everything chronologically, not just skip to the conclusion) I can help you transform yourself from a wanker into a banker.

I think you’ll start to take me more seriously if I actually show you how the piece of chicken you like best reveals your porn preference.

The Drumstick

You’re a quality over quantity kind of guy. You have premium memberships (stolen) to all the porn sites and you torrent Brazzers stuff. You’re all about good lighting, silicon and flashy costumes. Sometimes when it’s raining outside and you’re in the mood, you watch porn movies that actually have a plot. You cringe at names like Sunny Leone. You’re all about prim, proper and professional porn.

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The Thigh

We’re still talking about chickens, just a reminder.

You’re all about size. Big boobs or nothing. You are actually the opposite of a drumstick lover. You watch the amateur stuff where a busty mum fucks her son’s friend. You binge watch porn while eating fried chicken, and then jerk off using the grease leftover on your fingers as lubrication. Sunny Leone visits you in your wet dreams.

If you’re one of those who like the thigh and drumstick stuck together, you have multiple porn preference disorder. You watch professional and amateur stuff, depending on your mood.

The Breast

Yes, we’re still talking about chickens.

Surprisingly, you like small tits porn. This is because you’re most probably a girl. Which guy in their right mind likes eating chicken breast? Unless of course, you’re a CEO person and you have pan seared chicken breast stuffed with wild mushroom and tarragon for lunch. But since you’re reading this article I’m guessing you’re not a CEO person. So, you’re most probably a girl (or gay, but we all know gay people don’t exist in Bangladesh). You like watching porn movies where an Enrique Iglesias look-alike lovingly fucks a girl with small tits in the shower or something of a similar sort.

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The Wings

You can’t afford a fast enough internet service to be able to stream or download porn. You buy adult magazines from Nilkhet. Sometimes you steal your uncle’s laptop and take advantage of his archive of antique porn.

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The Giblets or Feet

When you do stream internet porn, you usually watch the fucked up kinky stuff. BDSM and Hentai and all that jazz. But most of the time you just fantasize about your bua.

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Ok, I know I promised I’d help you become a banker by the end this article. Eh. I lied. Sorry.

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