The first and only test of the Bangladesh-India series will probably (read hopefully) be abandoned due to the downpour. BCB selection committee’s decision of playing with one pacer backfired worse than India’s Mauka Mauka campaign during the world cup. So we are guessing that this is God’s way of saving their (members of the comity) asses rather than whipping the shit out of them for their idiocy. The only time we’ve been more relieved about cricket was when the court declared Ashraful guilty of fixing and banned him. At least we didn’t have to witness any more of that train-wreck.
Anyways, on this special occasion we decided to enlist a list of things that should also be abandoned due to rain.
This one is literally a no brainer. You wake up in the morning to find that the whole sky is coming down and the roads are so flooded that you can almost imagine Noah’s Arc coming from round the corner and asking you if you accept Christ as your lord and savior. I mean, who the fuck wants to go out on a day like this and waste it on giving exams? Scratch that. Who the fuck wants to do classes during an exam? Nobody but Satan himself will want to take classes on rainy days. Let alone take exams.
Brace yourselves. Satan is here
2. Expensive Dates with Bae
Yeah I get it. Rain s romantic. Robindranath, Jashimuddin to Humayun Ahmed… everybody loved the rain. Holding hands in the rain, kissing in the rain, hugging in the rain to maybe fucking in the rain. Why do people have this idea that these things are romantic? To those people all I have to say is, “Fuck you!”
You are soaking wet. All your “Dhaka college er opposite side theke kina” clothes are finally giving up and failing miserably in the durability tests. The colors are coming out of your 100 takar t-shirt with Shakib Khan/Arefin Shuvo’s face on it. Your pants are soaked to your skin and you can’t hide the fact that holding a girl’s hand has given you a massive boner.
Fuck the rain! Fuck everything romantic that is associated with rain. The only thing that you can’t fuck is your girlfriend/boyfriend who has a strict no pre-marital sex policy. What’s the point of going through all that hassle if you can’t get laid? Even if you do get laid, ask yourselves…if it really worth it? If the answer is yes, then ask again.
So you need a living. You need money. But all the money in the world can’t give you the pleasure of staying indoors just beside that street facing window during a downpour and pointing and laughing at the bunch of unlucky fucks who are getting rekt at the streets. So pick up the phone and call your boss and tell him that you’re not coming in during this rain. If he isn’t happy with what he hears then tell him to shove a pineapple up his arse.
Think that your work is so important that you can’t miss even for a day? Well, you’re wrong. Think that you are doing a lifesaving job that needs you to be there? People’s lives are depending on you? Are you a doctor? Well, the patient is going to die in the street while coming to the hospital thanks to the traffic gridlock. So for once you’re not gonna be blamed for the patient’s death. Are you a firefighter? It’s water pouring down from the skies my dear friend. This is God’s way of telling you to take a day off. He’s taking care of that fire for you. So abandon any work that you may have. Time to chill and hit that blunt.
Rain or shine, democracy should be abandoned anyways. Unless America decides that you need some democracy in the name of freedom and in the form of humongous missiles shoved up your ass.
5. Radiomunna memes
Come on dude. You’re better than this. You shouldn’t be looking at Radiomunna memes even if your life depends on it. A random string of words on top of Mosharrof Karim’s face is not funny.
Forget the “abandon during rain” part. You should abandon Radiomunna from your lives. And if you are a Radiomunna fan; then this website is not for you.